Web venting

So I just created this blog because I like being able to let my thoughts out so I'll be posting mainly about my journey raising my son with down syndrome but I'll also post about my family life here and there to still new to this but I like it :)

Scary moments

When my son Alexander was 1 month old he had to have minor surgery to remove a blockage in his right kidney. He had to stay in the children's hospital in Los Angeles ca for one week before he got there he was in the nicu for almost two weeks which was horrible. The hardest part for me was when the anesthesiologist was taking him away to go into surgery and I couldn't be with him. It was hard but our family was very supportive and made things a lot easier I'm just glad it's over...besides that he had a small hole in his heart that closed on its own other than that his health is 100%

The day my life changed forever

• June 23rd 2010 my life changed forever I had been waiting for results to come in that would tell me if my first born son had down syndrome. The whole two weeks I had to wait I was going crazy googling every article and every image possible, staring at my son constantly and comparing him to pictures I would find. I was so sure that he didn't have it because to me he looked perfect and just looked like my beautiful son. His dad and I kept telling each other "he doesn't have it he's fine" but deep down something told me something wasn't right. The call finally came in that he had trisomy 21 and I'll never forget thinking one thing that I remembered reading... The lifespan of a kid with down syndrome is up to 65 years old. Which is still my only fear for my son and will always be So that made me breakdown and I couldn't handle all the emotions that came at me all at once it was hard. My boyfriend was taking it even harder and couldn't express the way he was feeling. I only felt sorry for my son thinking he wasn't going to live a normal life or have a family or have a career and I just kept thinking of everything he wouldn't be able to do not once did I stop and think about all the possibilities which for that I'm ashamed. Once things settled in and we started to see who our son was everything changed! My view on life changed and my feelings about love changed not only did I love my son more than anything he opened my eyes to what a gift from god he was. I knew that he would only bring happy times and unity within the family. My son is two years and 3 months old and he is one of the best things I've ever created in my life and I wouldn't do a thing to change him. He may not be able to live a normal life but the way I see it he's going to live a better life..he's only going to see the good things in life and in people he's not gonna hate or hurt or stress about everyday life he's just gonna live happy and love unconditionally and he's my definition of "smile like you mean it"